Today I turn 18 years old and I thought about giving myself a gift, something meaningful, something that I would remember my whole life. Therefore, I decided to write this letter, which is dedicated to my younger self. I wish I had received this letter in real life, but I’m still glad I got the chance to read it now. What follows is a personal note and I will let my heart open itself and spill its content, without polishing any word. This is the raw version of it:
Dear younger self,
my thoughts are pretty twisted (some things never change), so I hope you are patient and read this letter carefully. First of all, I am proud of you. I am proud that you made it until now and you are becoming a strong and powerful woman. I am happy you didn’t give up and had the strength to not let things or people bring you down.
As much as you would like to think that you are invincible and you don’t need anyone, because you can make it on your own, I will tell you a little secret. Things get so much easier when you ask for help and talk to people about what is happening to you. You don’t have to deal with all of it alone. There are so many supportive people out there willing to lend a hand. Give up on your stubbornness and everything will get better.
Funny fact, but you will be amazed by how your shyness will disappear at the first contact with the right people. You will learn a lot about yourself with time and your low self-esteem problems will fade away as you will stop caring about what other people think of you. Trust me, it will be pretty simple. (In a few years you won’t even give a damn anymore).
I know it’s tough to love and accept yourself and there are so many changes going on in your body that you are afraid to look in the mirror. But you will learn to fall in love with yourself soon enough and you will appreciate every single inch of your body, just as it is. It will take time, but you will eventually own all of your flaws and wear them with pride. Remember that comparison is an act of violence against the self.
And don’t let fear paralyze you. Don’t let it stop you from fully living and grasping every chance that you get. You are braver than you think. I know it’s scary to get out of your comfort zone, but you will start to love it because your courage is way more powerful. Also, don’t be afraid to be yourself, don’t be ashamed of being different. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs.
Stop blaming yourself and accept reality. There are things you can not change, things you have no control over, but that’s not your fault. The only thing you can control is your attitude towards what is happening. You are in charge of the way you act and react. You are in charge of your thoughts and feelings and the sooner you will understand this, the better.
Make peace with the past, that’s how you get rid of all those regrets. That’s how you will free yourself. Stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future, because the only moment that will ever count is the now. Living in the present will be one of the greatest challenges you will face, but it will become your second nature.
Get in alignment with who you truly are and that’s when life will be better than ever before. You have multiple talents, which used will bring you a lot of satisfaction. You also have many interests, that cultivated will help you grow each day more and more. Embrace yourself and enjoy the process (and everything it involves). I know you are in love with productivity, but there will be days when just being will be enough, and that’s okay.
You will find out that you are a person of contrast. You are strong, yet very fragile. You are mostly a dreamer, but you never lose contact with reality. You are an extrovert, but you also crave those lonely wolf moments. You love spontaneity, but also routines. You adore traveling and you can’t stay in one place for too long, but sometimes you miss the stability. But that’s who you are. Don’t try to change it.
In the end, I will remind you that there will be good days and bad days. Days of all sorts, with mixed feelings or no feelings at all. Don’t be afraid to experience them. You are cautious with your happiness because you’re afraid it can be taken away from you within seconds. But that’s why you should enjoy what you have, as long as you have it. You never know how much things will last. So laugh as hard as you can when you do it. Love with all your heart when you get the chance. Express your feelings, because who knows when it’s going to be too late? Life is a feeling experience, so make the most out of it.
With love, your older self.